Bullies

Nov. 9, 2012

Today, I wanted to talk about bullies.  My friends and family will be familiar with the situation my son has recently faced due to several topics on facebook.

Back on Oct 29th, I got a call from my oldest son "D" at school.  He was laying in the nurses office, because two boys in his grade had assaulted him.  I asked which boys and where they were.  As it turns out, it was the same two boys that had hit "D" earlier this year for no reason until a duty officer from recess stopped it.  The boys were currently in talking with the principal.  So I called my hubby and we met at the school as fast as we could. 

This is the story we received:

  He was walking out from lunch and didn't notice the two bullies walking by him. They started pushing him into a dirt pile when his hand flew up and knocked a sandwich out of one of the other boys hands.  Things escalated from there, and D took off running and tripped by the playground.  When he got up, the two other boys knocked him down again and then one sat on him, while the other kicked him on the ground. They eventually stopped and went inside and later the duty found D hunched on a bench...

Now, suffice it to say, the hubby and I weren't very happy (still aren't).  Bullying has been an ongoing problem since D has gone to this school.  It makes me happy that we are planning to move soon and I am hoping that the next school will have better anti-bullying policies than the current one.

We ended up talking with a sub VP and eventually the principal.  They stated since the boys are minors they couldn't discuss what was being done to the two bullies but we are sure to hear about it through the grapevine from our kids...  They couldn't give us any reassurance on our son's safety.  Now does that seem right?  The sub vp suggested that D just stay away from the boys and stay with the duty officer during recess.   I'm sorry, but why does my son have to be punished and not be able to play free at recess while these two little (insert inappropriate word here) can go play with their friends?  That doesn't seem right in my book.  Why not make these boys stay in from recess or make them stand by the duty and watch their friends play.  Something is wrong here with the system and this school just doesn't see it.  Again SO glad we will be moving.  You can't show a person that is blind to the world unless they are willing to look. 

We took D to the docs because he was complaining that it hurt to breathe and his lower rib looked a little bruised and swollen.  After a doctor's visit and a xray he was bruised but no breaks.   Just what we need another doctor's bill in this family right?  I mean come on! 

We talked with D and made sure he was ok to go back to school the next day.  We told him if he sees those boys at school to call us immediately, and we would pursue it further and possibly bring criminal charges against the boys. 

Well D had two good days without any bullies.  The boys were back in school by the third day.  A 2 day suspension was the boys punishment, after talking with the district a 3 day suspension is considered "extreme" and in 95% cases any suspension at all works well. 

Lesson here is being a bully and beating a boy up gets you 2 days suspension... yet no suspension from recesses.  One bully then tells the victim they beat up "thanks for getting us suspended now I can't play with my friend" and the other bully tries to antagonize the victim with words.

Looks like these boys fit in the 5% category...

To hit the dead horse more... the sub vp called the next day to see how the doctor's appointment went.  He said "well at least it isn't anything serious..."   I went dead silent on the phone, I couldn't believe him.  This is why this country has bullies, they don't think it is serious!  It happens all the time, but what does anyone do to stop it?!   I use to really like this school, but now I wouldn't recommend it to anyone. 

My son is smart, funny, and nice.  Even though he would be classified as a nerd or geek, look at the world.. who is running it?  The geeks and nerds, and where are the bullies in the world?  Jail, or local crappy job.  I just hope D can stand up and rise above the idiocy of his peers and the school staff.  And I hope he knows we will stand with him till he can stand on his own.  Pick on me all you want, pick on my kids and you are going to lose a body part.

D wearing Starwars shirt and reading Ender's Game what a geek!

D being a good sport and trying on a suit.